I have long suspected that my powers of creativity are mediocre at best. This is probably why my favorite genre of writing (like writing I can actually do myself) is The Essay. My attempts to write fiction are always laughable, I think, even though I have been known to swoon over the beloved novels I read (although I almost never cry, as you may know, on account of my heart of stone).
Recently, my lack of creativity has been brought to light in a different way: as a mother. I tend to be pretty matter-of-fact and literal, so when Clara asks me a question, I answer it with The Truth. For example:
Clara: Mom, do you think dinosaurs ate mountains?
Me: No, they didn't. Mountains are made of dirt and rocks, and dinosaurs ate plants and meat, not dirt and rocks.
Clara: Mountains are not made of dirt and rocks!! Dinosaurs did eat them!!
Me: No, they really didn't. I don't think they could digest dirt and rocks.
Clara: They COULD digest them!!!
At about this point I realized how lame I was sounding, arguing with a three-year-old about dino digestion.
Another example:
Clara: What are clouds made of?
Me: Clouds are made of water. Tiny drops of water rise up into the sky and make clouds. When the water gets heavy, it rains. Fog is the same, but it's a cloud on the ground.
Clara: Clouds are not made of water! Fog is not a cloud!
She eventually came around on this one, due to my expert logic and to a book we read at the library. But still. I am a mother who has a serious lack of ability to be imaginative and to encourage imaginative play in my children. I do like to pretend, and we do a lot of pretending in my house, but it tends to be less on the dragon-slaying side and more on the pretend-to-be-an-animal side. ("Dragons aren't real." "Dragons are real!!")
Thoughts? I know several excellent mothers who seem extremely gifted at letting their children wonder about the world without feeling compelled to draw a diagram of the water cycle to prove life's "realities." I have seen mothers who are able to get their kids to do the undesirable things in life (like taking a bath) by telling them that they're superheroes who need to save a princess from an underwater cavern full of jewels. So clever! Our bath play is primarily limited to pouring water out of cups, although in my defense (or perhaps in Clara's favor) the kids do spend a lot of time digging up elasmosaurus fossils in the bathtub. They actually do a lot of fossil hunting at home, and a lot of flesh-tearing of weaker dinosaurs. Perhaps I should be worried about that...
So what do you think? Is there some sort of ideal line for children between fantasy and reality? Does it matter whether Clara thinks dinosaurs ate mountains? Am I damaging her potential for creative play?
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5 comments:
Your kids are unbelievably imaginative. Clara has an imaginary friend, which she probably wouldn't have if you were always imagining things for her. And Jonathan talks to his shadow!!! It's a lot easier to wander off into the land of imagination when you know your mom is holding your place for you back in reality, don't you think?
Like you, I tend to be realistic with Ava. But usually I do it in a round-about-way. If she says dinosaurs ate mountains, I say that she's a little bit right because mountains have trees and plants on them. Or they're made up of decomposed plants. Maybe I'm uber-realistic and maybe that's bad. I just usually let her "win" the argument by finding out a way that her reality (and/or creativity) matches with real reality.
I think I am a lot like you, Rachel. Emmy asked me if a real leprechaun was going to come to our house and leave us gold and I said no. I think we can still be creative and realistic - and I think Clara is really smart to be asking you all of these questions! I haven't yet had occasion to draw any kind of diagram.
I tend to go too far the other way! Gwen totally believes in magic and modern day pirates, etc. But I keep it realistic when I teach her about politics and the legal system- so that's gotta count somewhere!
Hmm...I think it's all about balance - make believe sometimes and real-life talk at others. Sometimes kids just want to be silly and pretend, and other times, they like a "real" answer, because they genuinely want to know!! It just depends on the situation.
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