Oh, how lovely was the morning!

I spent so much time not blogging that I now feel far behind in writing about things that mattered to me and were important to our family. Here’s a first effort at rectifying that situation.

A week or so before we left Syracuse, Jeremy’s mom came to visit. Before she left, we decided to take a day trip to Palmyra. Jeremy and I had been there many times before, and even Clara came with us several times as a baby. But between the winter that would not end and the morning sickness that also would not end, we didn’t have a chance to go this time around until our eleventh hour in the ’Cuse. And since spring is an unpredictable season, we ended up going on a warm but misty day.

The first awesome thing about our trip was that Jeremy got to ride for an hour and ten minutes each way in between the kids’ car seats in the Golf. I wish I’d taken a picture, but the poor guy looked pretty cramped and pathetic (no offense, JB). When we arrived, he unfolded himself from the car and emerged in all of his glorious lankiness, and then we went to the Hill Cumorah visitors’ center. This picture is taken at the foot of the Christus statue, and I really appreciate that Jonathan is holding a paper towel tube, which he carried with him all the way from Syracuse. It’s those little details that make events like this more meaningful, don’t you agree?

After our visitors center tour, we drove to the top of the Hill Cumorah and enjoyed the rain and mist. Really, doesn’t it look like the ideal day to spend outdoors? Ah, New York…

It was at the top of the Hill Cumorah that we first tried to get Jonathan to have his picture taken with his arms away from his face. For some reason (I blame Clara), he thinks that he looks cuter when he puts his hands up to his mouth. I don’t know what he’s trying to do. But he also seems to have no idea how to respond when we ask him to put his hands down. He ends up looking pretty unnatural. That’s our boy!

We drove from the Hill Cumorah to the Joseph Smith Farm, where we toured the two farm houses and then walked through the Sacred Grove. Clara and the “Girl Missionary” (as Clara called her) who did our tour became fast friends, and eventually Clara became her little missionary companion, helping to ask questions, lead the group around, and lead everyone in a hymn (I should interject here that our group was quite small and comprised entirely of Mormons, which made for a different kind of tour than we’d been on in the past, when we’d been in larger groups with people of all faiths. They’re both great groups to be in, but I thought it was pretty neat to be in the small group on this trip. It was almost like being at church, but better since we were outside and seeing interesting things.)

By the time we walked through the Sacred Grove, the rain was coming down a bit harder, but we stayed pretty dry amidst the trees. It was a nice walk. The kids liked it, and we even tried to get a few more pictures of Jonathan. First we asked him to put his hands in his pockets, which he did not appreciate. You can see for yourself what happened next.

Silly boy.

Sorry for the travelogue-style post. I am not feeling very amusing or clever at present, but I figured I might as well start somewhere with my blogging. Also, if you are unfamiliar with Joseph Smith or the history of the LDS church in New York, I’d invite you to learn more at mormon.org.

I'm so glad when Daddy comes home!

Since U Been Gone

So I’m pretty well behind on my blogging, as you may have noticed. You will not be surprised to learn that I have a good excuse, though it’s one you’ve likely heard a few times over the last year: we’re moving/have moved/are in the middle of moving. Again. But get this, dear readers: although we’re in a period of transition to mark our third (fourth?) cross-country move in the last 12 months, when we settle in at the end of this transition, we are settling in. That’s right: I will now reveal something we’ve known since the end of February: Jeremy has a tenure-track job as a geography professor. Is that not good news? I know it can barely be considered true or real until it’s posted on a blog somewhere, so here it is. We’re moving to Missouri in July, and who knows? Maybe we’ll be there forever. Well, I at least plan to be there until a pesky twister delivers us to Oz in the middle of the night one night. Ah, the Midwest.

And can I just say that although I am still undecided about whether to reveal our precise location on my blog, that it is certainly in the Midwestern part of Missouri rather than the Southern part of Missouri. And yes, I do have a “thing” about not wanting to live in the South. Don’t judge me.

At any rate, I am currently hunkered down with my kids at my parents’ house while Jeremy is wrapping up a few things, like spending a week in Cincinnati reading AP Human Geography exams. He’ll roll into town next week, then we’ll hang out for awhile until we’re ready for our big drive to the Show-Me State.

Since we are apart from Jeremy at present, I’m going to start my blog catch-up by posting about things we’ve done since we’ve been apart. We sure do miss our dad/husband around these parts.

It’s unrealistic for me to think I can catch up on everything in this post, so I’ll go for the most recent first: a little trip to Thanksgiving Point’s Farm Country, where my offspring were able to unleash their inner farmhands (although at this point none of us are interested in poultry farming. Fowl=foul, in a stenchy kind of way, if you catch my drift. And I think you do).

I have to end on this picture of Jonathan because it fills my heart with joy. Who eats an ice cream cone like that? I really like that kid.

Happy Easter!

We very much enjoyed our Easter weekend as a family. We love watching the kids through all of their excitement, fun, and learning, even though both Jeremy and I think holidays are a lot harder now than they used to be. Just this morning I said to Jeremy: "When I was younger, I just remember holidays being fun and relaxing. I guess that's because my parents were doing all the work."

I guess so.

But really, the work is worth it to see our little charmers full of life and fun. They were both quite excited about the impending visit from the Easter Bunny. Clara fell asleep right away, as she is wont to do, but Jonathan was just too full of anticipation to fall asleep easily. At one point he came out and said, all nervous-like, "Where's Clara?" We went in and found Clara hidden in her bed. She was lying on her back and had the covers tucked up to her chin, and she had put her pillow so it was almost entirely covering her face. I told Jonathan she was there, readjusted her so she was on top of her pillow, and left.


This morning, we asked her why she fell asleep like that. Her response? "I was trying to look like a bed so the Easter Bunny wouldn't see me and she'd be surprised." That's right: she was trying to pull a fast one on the Easter Bunny. Clever Clara.


The EB was pretty light on the candy this year, since one of our children (I won't say who it is, but it isn't Clara) is an absolute fiend for candy. Seriously. He's like an unstoppable rebel force out to conquer all the candy in the universe. Or, perhaps more accurately, he's like one of those truffle-sniffing pigs who can find truffles hidden anywhere in the dank of the forest. The boy can find candy, and then he will eat it all, so we thought we might as well limit his options. Neither of them seemed to think the offerings were light, though, so all said it was a good time.


We also truly enjoyed our time at church today. Both of the kids had meaningful lessons on the Resurrection of Christ in their little classes, and Jeremy and I were able to teach an Easter lesson to our Gospel Principles Sunday School class. We were both touched deeply by the Holy Spirit both as we prepared the lesson and as we shared it with the class. I'm grateful for this special day where we can take time to reflect on the miracle of Christ's life, death, Atonement and Resurrection. I know the Savior lives, and that he loves us. Everything I have in my life that has brought me goodness, peace, and joy stems from my faith in Christ. I'm grateful for that knowledge.

In addition to these realizations and memorable moments, I will say that we also very much enjoyed this year's Easter dinner. Jeremy and I worked hard to make a ham steak (buying a whole ham seemed silly for our little family, particularly since we only ate about a third of the ham steak), monkey bread, deviled eggs, asparagus, fluffy strawberry salad, and creamed new potatoes and peas. Hard work makes food tastes even better, I think, and we enjoyed sitting down to the fruits of our labors. Clara was also gratifyingly hungry and appreciative. Jonathan was also there. I think he was full of candy.




And I will admit that one of my favorite things about the day was wearing matching Easter dresses with Clara. I matched us last year for Mother's Day and this year for Easter, and I figure I'll keep having us be twins once a year until she thinks I'm too dorky. I might only have one more year left! I am pretty dorky--something that will no doubt be easily discernible by our discriminating girl!



Also, you may notice that I look a bit, well, large-ish in these pictures. Though this may be a surprise to some of my dedicated readers, we are having another baby in September! We have a lot to celebrate these days...


Happy Easter!

That's what friends are for!

Three of the most dreaded words uttered in our house these days are "Let's play friends!"

I know what you're thinking: they sound innocuous enough, but when you are lazy parents like we are sometimes hearing the words "Let's play friends!" just sends a bit of a chill down the spine.

So the game goes like this: one of the kids (usually Jonathan; it's kind of his special game) comes up to you carrying a handful of small toys or stuffed animals. These are the "friends." Once you've been handed a "friend" (or usually two or three friends), you then spend the rest of the game (duration: unknown) talking to the other friends. It's kind of like living in the movie Avatar but without the perks of living on a magical planet, riding mystical creatures, or being able to destroy mercenaries.

Rules to consider:

1. As the adult, it is your responsibility to come up with topics of conversation. Acceptable topics include: favorite foods, names of "friends," hobbies and interests, etc.

2. At no point may you directly address the holder of the "friend." For example, if you somehow accidentally address Jonathan instead of Sky High or Dog-dog or Monkey or Crispin's Crispian, you will be swiftly rebuked--usually by having one of the friends thrust directly into your face with a stern admonition to "talk to mine friiieeeend!"

3. The game has no ending. You may need to grab a snack or use the restroom or tear out chunks of your hair, but the moment you turn around, a little boy will be standing there holding the little friends and waiting to tell you about his favorite foods. Again.

Once, Jeremy made the mistake of saying to Jonathan, "You know, Buddy, sometimes I don't want to talk to the friends. Sometimes I just want to talk to you!" To this, Jonathan responded by thrusting out his lower lip, widening his eyes, then darting away into his room to have a good cry into his pillow.

But now that I've written all of that and shown that charming picture, I know you're thinking what I'm thinking: that little face is impossible to resist. We play a lot of "friends" at our house.

My love is like a red, red rose

So I've been staring at the computer for the last 20 minutes, trying to think of something to write about. Then, five minutes ago, Jeremy came home from teaching his evening class. I said, "Dude. What should I blog about?"

He said, "You could always blog about your love for me."

Silence.

The silence, of course, was not because I thought it was a bad idea. Rather, I was contemplating all of the many wonderful ways in which I could express my undying love for him. That's not quite the way he took it.

"I see that doesn't inspire you," he said.

Pause.

"Maybe I could write about National Poetry Month.... No. That's pretty boring."

He left to heat himself some dinner.

Then, like a potato exploding in the microwave, it hit me: I could combine my love for Jeremy with National Poetry Month. Perfecto!

So here, in honor of Jeremy, my undying love for him, and National Poetry Month, I offer you my favorite love poem: Shakespeare's Sonnet 116.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.


Fantastic! True love, idealism, and beauty--all in 14 compact lines.

And since I'm no poet:

I love you pretty well, JB. I do indeed.

A teeny, tiny taste of spring

This week is Spring Break for me and Jeremy. This is a good thing, since it's been kind of an exhausting semester so far for both of us. My favorite thing about spring break is that Jeremy has let me sleep in until 8:30 every day. So happy! I'm not sure what Jeremy's favorite thing about spring break is, though I'd guess it has something to do with not preparing a 2 1/2 hour lecture.

Spring break in Syracuse is often something of a misnomer, since spring doesn't really arrive in full force for at least another month. You may recall our spring break trip to "Mexico" a few years ago as evidence that Central New York's weather will not be dictated by academic calendars.

But yesterday....

I almost hesitate to describe the glory and wonder of yesterday's weather, lest my joy should tempt the fates into sending another two feet of snow. But nevertheless, yesterday was truly thrilling after months of snow and dim lighting. The sun shone! The temperatures reached 50!

Jeremy took Clara to preschool then went to the library to grade midterms (see what I mean about not knowing what Jeremy likes about spring break?). Jonathan and I took advantage of the weather by opting for a stroll in the sunshine.


I will say that Jonathan is my most vampire-like child, in that he has grown too used to overcast skies and whimpers pathetically when he sees the sun. So I was not surprised when we left the apartment and he clenched his eyes shut for the first fifty yards of the walk while holding my hand. When he finally deigned to open his eyes, the first thing he said was, "Why are we walking?" I said, "Because it's wonderful to breathe the fresh air!" He thought for a moment then said, "Well, I will take a very big breathe."


We walked up the hill behind our apartment complex to a pleasant neighborhood, and Jonathan was thrilled by the number of large storm drains in the sidewalk. We stopped at every one and crouched down to watch the snow melt into the grate.

By the time we turned around, Jonathan was pretty tired, so I carried him home on my shoulders. But I rode the high of that walk for the rest of the day. Perhaps spring really is on the way...

Another Sam-Day

During the last week of February we celebrated Sam's seventh birthday. Every year I am astounded by how much time has passed, and seven years certainly feels like a long time to be without him in our family. But we still feel strongly that he is a very real part of our family, and we are comforted by our faith in the resurrection and forever families. I know we will see him one day.


It's been very important to me and Jeremy to have Sam's birthday be a happy day, a celebration of our family. I think we've been successful so far, because I'm pretty sure Clara and Jonathan think it's one of the best days of the year. They are happy to each get a little present (even if one of the presents was a doll house we found next to the dumpster a few days before we moved from Saint Paul--as if they're old enough to know or care about stuff like that). And they are equally happy to feast on a special dinner and a rare dessert (this year: funfetti cake with chocolate frosting). They are sweet and wonderful children, and when I look at them I can see Sam. The more they understand about their older brother, the more we can see a love for him deepen in their hearts. I'm grateful for that.

Marriage on the Rocks

In January 2001 I was living at Victoria Place apartments on 500 north in Provo. I was midway through my year as a student body officer in BYUSA, and I was having countless amazing experiences with wonderful friends. It was a good time.

One day, not long after the semester had begun, I went to visit my friend Will in his apartment. Will and I often engaged in verbal sparring, and on that day we were having a heated discussion about who knows what--something extremely "intellectual," I'm sure. Well, out of the back of his apartment walks this tall, skinny new roommate of Will's, and he introduced himself as Jeremy. Jeremy had been home from his two-year LDS mission to Singapore and Malaysia for less than a month, and my first impression of him was that he was cute, but a bit stiff. All right, I thought he was--as Clara would say--super-de-duper stiff. He just didn't even seem quite normal. But he was pretty good looking.

Of course, first impressions go two ways, and Jeremy thought I was some sort of crazed lunatic "femi-nazi" who was obsessed with arguing and being "right." But he did think I was pretty cute. At least I like to think he did.

Fast forward about five months. Summer had arrived in Provo. I was done with BYUSA. For any of you who have ever lived in Provo in the summer, you know it's a pretty idyllic time. I was working and taking some classes, but I was also more relaxed than I'd probably been for more than a year.

One afternoon, Jeremy and I found ourselves washing our cars together in the parking lot behind the apartments. It was a beautiful sunny day, marred only by the fact that I was stuck washing my car with the stiffest guy in the ward. And he was stuck washing his car with me. But we made the most of it, and at one point Jeremy made a joke that, as I recall, was slightly off-color and very surprising coming from someone who seemed to have absolutely no sense of humor. I laughed out loud. And suddenly I saw this guy in a very different light. He was no longer a humorless robot! How exciting!

Over the next several weeks, we started bumping into each other more and more often. I wasn't exactly stalking him, but I did become more aware of his comings and goings. Soon he started asking me to join him for dinner and for other outings, always as friends. I remember we used to frequent a really quite underwhelming hot dog place--a total hole in the wall that Jeremy loved. I can't remember what it was called--Tommy's?--but it specialized in greasy chili dogs topped with cheese, mustard, pickle, and fresh tomato. Romantic, I know, especially when perched on the restaurants only two mismatched stools. I was in heaven.

I remember one auspicious night in particular: a trip with a group of friends out into the desert for the August Perseid meteor shower. Imagine my elation when he lay down under the beautiful summer sky and invited me to rest my head on his folded arm. It had to be the most romantic group outing I'd ever been on.

Of course, the real problem with Jeremy at the time was that he was absolutely petrified of officially "dating" me. He told me much later that he knew if we were really dating, we would get married, and he just didn't feel ready to get married. So he did an amazing job of keeping me at arm's length while spending every moment of available time with me.

Stuck in this somewhat depressing state of limbo, I decided to move forward with my life. I was 21, almost done with school, and decided to take some time off to serve my own mission. The night I submitted my mission papers to be sent to Salt Lake, Jeremy came to meet me to walk me home from campus. What I didn't know is that the day before he'd driven to southern Utah to meet his parents, who drove up from Phoenix, where they were living at the time. While he was waiting for them, to counsel with them and figure out what on earth he should do about me, he parked his car (the trusty Golf!) and walked out into the red rock desert. He found a large rock to sit on, and sat fiddling with a few small rocks and pondering what he should do. He knelt to pray, and as he prayed he said he knew he would marry me. He put the small rocks in his pocket, met with his parents, then drove back to Provo.

When Jeremy walked me home that night from campus, he seemed unusually quiet and agitated. I kept asking him what was wrong, and finally, as we were walking east along 500 north, he said, "I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize this, but I love you." I was floored. I assumed he cared about me, felt a fair amount of affection to me, but this was big news! I didn't really know what to think, but I did know how I felt, so I told him I loved him, too. I was having a hard time, by that point, just putting one foot in front of the other, so we stopped to sit on the steps of Joaquin Elementary School. We spoke about nothing in a kind of awkward way, then I said, "I just don't know what you want me to do, Jeremy. Do you want me to not go on a mission because something's possible here?" He paused, looked at me and said, "No, because something's probable here.

He then proceeded to get down on one knee. He took my hand in his and asked me to marry him. I said yes.

Three months later, on February 16, 2002, we were married in the Oakland LDS Temple. That was nine years ago today, and not a day has passed since that I have not been grateful I said yes. We have weathered countless storms together, always with the conscious choice to let our struggles bring us closer together. We have traveled all around the country together. We've had three beautiful children. We've seen the darkness of death, made lighter by the bright promise of eternity. We've laughed, we've argued, we've cried, we've teased. He's been my best friend, my confidant, my truest love.

A few years ago, I was dusting off Jeremy's desk and picked up a few old rocks that had sat there for as long as we'd been married. "Jeremy," I said, "Why do you keep these rocks on your desk? They make it a lot harder to keep your desk clean." He looked at me and said, "Those are the rocks I picked up in the desert the day I prayed about asking you to marry me. I like keeping them around."

So do I, Jeremy.

Happy 9Y, JB. I sure do love you.